Um. Hello. Still here...nearly 2 years later.
Where do I start? How about where I left off? Let's acknowledge what this blog is sponsored by: the letter G.
G, which brings us GRATITUDE – a perfect tool to file away worry and doubt.
This will be a long post with no crafting. I need to open my heart for this post. I know there are others out there going through something similar, but may feel alone. Here is proof that you aren't.
Can it be that 2 years have passed by since my last post? I thought it had only been one year until I checked the date...it's all been a blur, really. What happened? I got off track. I reverted back to old habits and then one day I looked up and around and found I had only walked in a circle instead of continuing forward, forging my own path. I was back in the town of get up – go to work – go home – go to sleep – get up...all with the occasional dash of worrying about things beyond my control. This way of living had once again snuck in and switched itself with the joy of creativity. Some kind of emotional changeling.
Sound familiar for you too? Anyone out there successfully able to keep on track for a least a year? If yes, I'd love to hear your comments on what steps you've taken to keep your momentum chugging along. I'm really sick of repeating this pattern.
I didn't even do any knitting this past winter! Ridiculous.
By December 2010, I had realized how far off track I was and then made a quick decision to enroll back in school at the community college. This was one of those, “I'll go back to school one day, learn something to help me further my career opportunities...maybe next term....,” things, but this time it was different. This time the voice said, “Girl, don't be a chicken shit. Just enroll for 2 classes and you're only committed for 11 weeks.” I didn't even wait until the next day- I immediately went online and applied, then as soon as I was accepted I enrolled. This was the best leap I've taken in awhile. As it turns out, I really like accounting and more surprisingly, this supposedly no-mind-for-business crafter actually really likes business classes too!
Soon after my first term, I had to admit to myself that the only thing holding me back from becoming fluent in business-ese was my self-imposed restrictions. I had assumed business was about the cold hard dollar, at whatever cost with as little creativity as possible. This was a false assumption. Equally false was me buying in to the “Well, you're a right-brain thinker,” talk...as if I were doomed to be incapable of understanding business. The boundaries were there because I let them be there. If you step in poop, that poop is gonna stay stuck to your shoe unless you take the time to scrape it off.
If any of you are wishing to know more about business, but think it isn't for you, I strongly recommend taking a class or two at your community college. The textbooks have a refreshing (and surprising) emphasis on ethics and philanthropy. Had I not taken this leap to go back to school, I would have never found out how “human” business could be. I also wouldn't have this growing confidence in myself and my future.
Are you with me in harboring feelings of shame or guilt in the mere thought of posting one of your creations on Etsy? Are you stuck with the heavy belief of, “Well...just as long as I have enough to get by....who am I to expect more?” When you watch the news and see victims of natural disasters or violence, do you wish you could donate (or donate more than you already have) but all you can do is look at your checkbook and sigh? Hey you know what? ME TOO!
Well, me too until I started taking business classes. I feel as though my instructors went into my brain and fixed the faulty wiring and now the lights are coming on and it's very clear how I have a habitual expectation of lack. Somewhere along the way, I adopted the belief that I don't have the right to expect abundance. I did, however, become very adept in the expectation of lack while simultaneously expecting and encouraging abundance in others. I just didn't see it for myself. This re-wiring has begun to pull me out of this rut and I'm excited to know that my future holds a me that will not nearly cry with fear whenever my car makes a funny sound because I will have a car maintenance fund. I will be able to respond with a donation whenever I find a cause that touches my heart. I will be able to buy a friend a month's worth of groceries or pay their utility bill when they fall on hard times. There's been a shift from wishing this to actually seeing it in my heart. These classes have helped nudge me over from wishing to feeling empowered.
First, I need to be sure my home base is steady and secure. I have no more guilt in this. There is nothing greedy about not wanting to live paycheck to paycheck. I am not Mother Theresa and there is no shame in that. For all the time and energy I've wasted in not taking a step because I was worried that it wasn't perfect and I wouldn't be completely sacrificing myself, how many people could I have helped in my own imperfect way? Why did I let what I thought others expected of me keep me from going forward with what I truly wanted in my heart? Did they even expect that at all? And while I'm at it, who is “they” anyway? I don't know...and now, it doesn't even matter. So what that I started 2 years ago and then lost my way? No guilt there either. Done with it- all this guilt and shame . Worrying, too. Got pretty good at being present, but lost my focus a bit and wouldn't you know it, worry was waiting to rush in. Sick of that, too.
All this guilt, shame, and worry does is petrify me, robs me of my creativity, limits my field of vision. When it strikes, all my potential drains away and the future becomes a burden to fear. So now, in addition to reminding myself to be present, I imagine blowing up guilt, shame, and worry. If it won't get out of my way, I'm blowing it up...why don't you try it? If you've played Angry Birds, think of the black bird. Ka-BOOM! Will this make me guilt, shame, and worry free overnight? No, but this will loosen its grip on my life. When I am strong and confident, when my life is secure and healthy, I will be able to do so much more to help others.
Where are you on your own journey to your own greatness? Don't say you have no greatness. We all have greatness and it truly is our own, so there is no point in comparing it to others. Dig around for yours and nurture it so that it can thrive. When it blooms, the world will be a better place because of it. You and I, we do have something wonderful to contribute to this world.
You know how you can feel a good summer thunderstorm rolling in? There's a tension, excitement in the air. The sounds and scents change and while you sweat in the still humidity yearning for relief, a cool breeze suddenly blows over your face, through your hair and it smells like rain. Then you hear a low rumbling in the distance and big fat drops of rain begin to fall, washing off the sweat and dirt drop by drop until it begins to pour and you can feel the oppressive heat being scrubbed away by the wildness of the storm. The thunder and the lighting shakes your bones and makes your heart skip a beat and a primitive part of your brain sends out the impulse to run, but you stand your ground and breathe in that shift in the atmosphere. It feels like a life refusing to be burdened.
This is what is starting for me. I hope it is for you, too.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Time to Catch Up
This week’s blog is brought to you by the letter F, the makers fun and faith – let them light your way through the darkness.
Going into month eight now, of this living with and allowing creativity. It sounds so lofty. “Yes, dahhling, I am infused with the spirit of creativity!” Bah. I’ve never liked the “artistes,” the artier than thou types. Never silly, often condescending, and fostering the impression that creativity is for the elite.
You know what though? It ain’t! Yes, AIN’T, not isn’t. Ain’t. Ain’t. Ain’t. It belongs to everyone. Like the air and sunlight. You just gotta throw open the curtains and the window, stick your head out, and make like the seagulls in Finding Nemo: MIME!MINE!MINE!
Don’t wait for the “perfect” moment to allow creativity in. It will never come. You’ll find the perfect moments when you’re in the middle of your project and realize you were able to get completely sucked into the present – no past to drag you down, no future to cause worry. Work hard to get there- I’ve been, and decided I’d like it to be a more regular state of being. It’s great to not have so much worry that my stomach hurts or I can’t sleep. I’m grateful that I’m not only (finally) learning how to live life one step at a time, but I am doing so while enjoying the view.
Ah. Rain. We finally have rain! Temps are in the 70’s and all last night, the rain fell.
I overslept and was late for work.
The week before, we had a heat wave. A real one where it went above 100 and it was still 90 degrees indoors at midnight. At least it was a dry heat, though, so I wasn’t sticky. I was, however, cranky. Cranky McCrankypants of the Kingdom Crankmeister. When it’s that hot, I have absolutely no motivation to make anything at home. I thought about papier mache since it would dry so quickly, but I just couldn’t bear to be at home and so I hung out at work well after my shift was over and worked on a scarf for my little nephew or hung out with friends who had air conditioning. My tomato and gourd plants loved the heat, though, and now my garden looks like a little jungle.
So, anyway, in the last 4-6 weeks, I’ve been chugging along on the crafting train. To start, I tackled these big, hairy beasts.
Got both wool sweaters for about $6. The colors didn’t photograph well on the Bill Cosby sweater pre-skeining, but take a look at the after picture below.
This was my first experience with recycling sweaters and considering how much yarn I got for so cheap, I think I’m going to do this again in the future. The skeins were washed and hung up to dry. The last part of the drying was done in the sun so the wool has the wooly/laundry dried on the line smell and the fibers went from looking like Top Ramen to fluffy and straight. Squishy.
For those of you who are thinking of giving this a try, here’s some advice:
- Work on an old bed sheet to catch all the fiber bits that will fall out.
- don’t work in the wind unless it’s blowing away from you or you will be covered in a million tiny hairs that will. drive. you. insane.
- the end caps of the PVC niddy noddy are important. I didn’t get them at first because I thought it was just cosmetic. It isn’t. By the time I wound up all the yarn, my knuckles and the backs of my hands were covered with cuts from the edge of the PVC pipes. Was I in a bar brawl? No- I was recycling yarn.
- If you don’t get the ends caps, you may want to sand the edges unless you’re
going for the bas-ass knitter look.
Oh- and go here for good instructions on making a PVC niddy noddy. It cost less to make this wonderful tool than a large cup of coffee.
Next for show and tell is:
A dog bed made out of recycled wool sweaters!
This is for a sweet little dog of some friends. I made a prototype bed for a friend’s cat a few months ago and she took to it immediately. I figured she would since she seems to be infatuated with my wool yarn and wool socks.
All I did was get some wool, non-superwash sweaters at the thrift store, bagged them up using old pillowcases and hair ties, and washed and dried them. The body of the sweaters makes the base and the arms are reinforced with ribbing and sleeves from other sweaters to make the walls. The whole thing is sewn together with wool yarn and then washed again. The stitches then shrink down a bit and the seams tighten up. The decorative button was a donation from a co-worker who recycled it off a coat. I think it completes the bed nicely.
The beds are easy to make – no pattern other than the large mixing bowl I used to cut out a huge circle. If you want to make one, here are my tips:
- for a cat/small dog bed, I used 2 XL wool sweaters
- I used 4 layers for the base for cushioning and insulation
- remember: the inner layers can’t be seen, so don’t worry about what color the fabric is
- periodically stitch the layers together, throughout the be, just like you would do for a quilt
- when you take the bed out of the wash, it will look like a giant, soggy tortilla- DON’T PANIC! reshape it and throw it in a hot dryer.
- I’ve only used wool yarn to stitch the bed, but I’m sure upholstery thread will work fine, too.
- time it took to make one: almost 2 viewings of Men in Black
Finally, here a photo of the result of my first foray back into the world of embroidering that I blogged about last month:
This was a fairly quick and extremely fun project! I will definitely be making more of these.
Whew…big fat blog and now it’s time for bed. Sweet dreams everyone!
Going into month eight now, of this living with and allowing creativity. It sounds so lofty. “Yes, dahhling, I am infused with the spirit of creativity!” Bah. I’ve never liked the “artistes,” the artier than thou types. Never silly, often condescending, and fostering the impression that creativity is for the elite.
You know what though? It ain’t! Yes, AIN’T, not isn’t. Ain’t. Ain’t. Ain’t. It belongs to everyone. Like the air and sunlight. You just gotta throw open the curtains and the window, stick your head out, and make like the seagulls in Finding Nemo: MIME!MINE!MINE!
Don’t wait for the “perfect” moment to allow creativity in. It will never come. You’ll find the perfect moments when you’re in the middle of your project and realize you were able to get completely sucked into the present – no past to drag you down, no future to cause worry. Work hard to get there- I’ve been, and decided I’d like it to be a more regular state of being. It’s great to not have so much worry that my stomach hurts or I can’t sleep. I’m grateful that I’m not only (finally) learning how to live life one step at a time, but I am doing so while enjoying the view.
Ah. Rain. We finally have rain! Temps are in the 70’s and all last night, the rain fell.
I overslept and was late for work.
The week before, we had a heat wave. A real one where it went above 100 and it was still 90 degrees indoors at midnight. At least it was a dry heat, though, so I wasn’t sticky. I was, however, cranky. Cranky McCrankypants of the Kingdom Crankmeister. When it’s that hot, I have absolutely no motivation to make anything at home. I thought about papier mache since it would dry so quickly, but I just couldn’t bear to be at home and so I hung out at work well after my shift was over and worked on a scarf for my little nephew or hung out with friends who had air conditioning. My tomato and gourd plants loved the heat, though, and now my garden looks like a little jungle.
So, anyway, in the last 4-6 weeks, I’ve been chugging along on the crafting train. To start, I tackled these big, hairy beasts.
Got both wool sweaters for about $6. The colors didn’t photograph well on the Bill Cosby sweater pre-skeining, but take a look at the after picture below.
This was my first experience with recycling sweaters and considering how much yarn I got for so cheap, I think I’m going to do this again in the future. The skeins were washed and hung up to dry. The last part of the drying was done in the sun so the wool has the wooly/laundry dried on the line smell and the fibers went from looking like Top Ramen to fluffy and straight. Squishy.
For those of you who are thinking of giving this a try, here’s some advice:
- Work on an old bed sheet to catch all the fiber bits that will fall out.
- don’t work in the wind unless it’s blowing away from you or you will be covered in a million tiny hairs that will. drive. you. insane.
- the end caps of the PVC niddy noddy are important. I didn’t get them at first because I thought it was just cosmetic. It isn’t. By the time I wound up all the yarn, my knuckles and the backs of my hands were covered with cuts from the edge of the PVC pipes. Was I in a bar brawl? No- I was recycling yarn.
- If you don’t get the ends caps, you may want to sand the edges unless you’re
going for the bas-ass knitter look.
Oh- and go here for good instructions on making a PVC niddy noddy. It cost less to make this wonderful tool than a large cup of coffee.
Next for show and tell is:
A dog bed made out of recycled wool sweaters!
This is for a sweet little dog of some friends. I made a prototype bed for a friend’s cat a few months ago and she took to it immediately. I figured she would since she seems to be infatuated with my wool yarn and wool socks.
All I did was get some wool, non-superwash sweaters at the thrift store, bagged them up using old pillowcases and hair ties, and washed and dried them. The body of the sweaters makes the base and the arms are reinforced with ribbing and sleeves from other sweaters to make the walls. The whole thing is sewn together with wool yarn and then washed again. The stitches then shrink down a bit and the seams tighten up. The decorative button was a donation from a co-worker who recycled it off a coat. I think it completes the bed nicely.
The beds are easy to make – no pattern other than the large mixing bowl I used to cut out a huge circle. If you want to make one, here are my tips:
- for a cat/small dog bed, I used 2 XL wool sweaters
- I used 4 layers for the base for cushioning and insulation
- remember: the inner layers can’t be seen, so don’t worry about what color the fabric is
- periodically stitch the layers together, throughout the be, just like you would do for a quilt
- when you take the bed out of the wash, it will look like a giant, soggy tortilla- DON’T PANIC! reshape it and throw it in a hot dryer.
- I’ve only used wool yarn to stitch the bed, but I’m sure upholstery thread will work fine, too.
- time it took to make one: almost 2 viewings of Men in Black
Finally, here a photo of the result of my first foray back into the world of embroidering that I blogged about last month:
This was a fairly quick and extremely fun project! I will definitely be making more of these.
Whew…big fat blog and now it’s time for bed. Sweet dreams everyone!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
It is too hot to write
Hello. It has been crazy hot these last few days and my computer generates a lot of heat and I don't have air conditioning so I am here for a few seconds to let you know this is all I am doing until it stops being 100 degrees in my home after the sun sets.
I am going back to laying on the floor like a gingerbread man. Thank you.
I am going back to laying on the floor like a gingerbread man. Thank you.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Blabbity Blab Blab!
Well hello hello! Long time no see, my friend! Come in and have a seat – would you like some tea and cookies? I have a lot to ramble about, so pull up a chair and –oh yes, before I forget-
This week’s blog has been brought to you by the letter E: the makers of enjoy, explore, and encourage – the ingredients that make life delicious!
Now on to our progam.
Ahhhhrrghh…where is that cable thingamajig for my camera? I have things to share! See what happens when I “organize?” I even remember thinking, “I’m going to put it here so I can find it easily.”
Why does that never work?
Time is really going by quickly this year- can you believe it’s already the middle of July? Holy cow! I’m not blogging as consistently as I would like, but I don’t feel bad about it either. Been busy both planting more creative seeds and actually making stuff.
The other weekend, I decided to hang out on the coast. The Oregon Coast – if you’ve never been there and you need someplace quiet to clear your head, go there. The ocean has always, ALWAYS been a big part of my life. Like family. Whenever I feel as though I’m going to crawl out of my skin with worry, anxiety, sadness, etc., I try to go to the ocean.
Time stops for me when I’m with the ocean and without realizing it, I find myself with a still and uncluttered mind and heart. It’s the calm in the eye of the storm. For those brief moments, I am outside my problems, looking in. Looking at it from a different angle and catching glimpses of how it all fits into the big picture. How it’s all connected to others and that I am not alone. Then I sink back into my situation with a new resolve and knowing I just need to commit to pushing forward and somehow things will be provided.
When you watch the ocean, think about how old it is. For all that is done to it, it has never lost power and sometimes it reminds us of that. For all this time, the ocean has never been still. Whether I’m standing in it on the beach or looking out over a cliff, the ocean always reminds me there is more beyond and my time is small and precious. It feels like being a child in the presence of the ultimate grandparent.
Spent time in Lincoln City, then drove north to Astoria and went across the bridge (my most favorite bridge, followed by the St. John’s bridge). Stopped by Cannon Beach and Sunset Beach (very quiet, absolutely peaceful even though there were several families there) along the way and collected broken sand dollars and some small bits of driftwood. Hardly anything on the beach compared to the wintertime, but it was wonderful and much needed. My anxiety levels had been slowly building again and the ocean scrubbed my soul clean, reminding me to rely on my faith and not my worries.
Then I went back the next day. Decided one day was not enough and went to Newport and explored the area south of it. The weather was the opposite of the previous day of soft breezes and sunny skies, but I loved it. The overcast day was quieter and the mist rolling across the sand made me feel like I went back in time. Maybe to the beginning when everything was being born. Found some small agates and 2 clam fossils- the first fossils I’ve ever found! Fascinating how the earth can hold on to the past and then one day, have it roll up on the beach.
I returned home renewed and motivated to tend to the things I’ve allowed to pile up again. Took the poor tomato plants, straining in their now too small pots and planted them in the ground. Planted the tomatillos and ground cherries, too. Installed a trellis and gently guided the gourd vines up. Made a PVC niddy noddy and began to skein up the yarn from an unraveled sweater (note to self: do this asap the next time I unravel a sweater- the skein takes up MUCH less space and is much neater than a big floppy plastic bag of yarn balls! duh!). Completed a sewing project that had been waiting patiently since (not an exaggeration) summer of 2008. More was done, but I can’t remember it right now.
Hm. Looking at the list, it appears I’ve tended to things that had reached a dead end when it still had more to go. I’ve felt so much better since doing them, as if I knocked down a dam and now things are beginning to flow where it should again. Instead of looking at it all and feeling overwhelmed, I’m trying out the clean a little-craft a little method and this is much more feasible. I hate cleaning, but I like things to be clean.
Hey- if you’re a crafter and your home looks like mine and a small part of you secretly wishes you could push everything into a hole in the floor, but you know you’d never do that because you might need something in that pile BUT you know you need to do something because it’s impeding your creativity – well – try the clean a little- craft a little method. When I get home from work, I allow 1 hour of cleaning. Even if I feel like I could do more, I stop. Then I can do something else. Knowing I only have that hour actually makes me focus on cleaning efficiently and I suspect I get more done. I also relax in knowing there’s one less thing to tend to on the weekend and I still get my creativity fix.
Do you ever wonder about those houses that look like a showroom? No glitter or seed beads randomly popping out of the carpet, never keeping an empty jelly jar to store buttons in, not a single smudge of paint on the dining room table. What do these people do for entertainment? Do they just sit there and not touch anything? Then again, they probably wonder how we live the way we do- and shudder.
This week’s blog has been brought to you by the letter E: the makers of enjoy, explore, and encourage – the ingredients that make life delicious!
Now on to our progam.
Ahhhhrrghh…where is that cable thingamajig for my camera? I have things to share! See what happens when I “organize?” I even remember thinking, “I’m going to put it here so I can find it easily.”
Why does that never work?
Time is really going by quickly this year- can you believe it’s already the middle of July? Holy cow! I’m not blogging as consistently as I would like, but I don’t feel bad about it either. Been busy both planting more creative seeds and actually making stuff.
The other weekend, I decided to hang out on the coast. The Oregon Coast – if you’ve never been there and you need someplace quiet to clear your head, go there. The ocean has always, ALWAYS been a big part of my life. Like family. Whenever I feel as though I’m going to crawl out of my skin with worry, anxiety, sadness, etc., I try to go to the ocean.
Time stops for me when I’m with the ocean and without realizing it, I find myself with a still and uncluttered mind and heart. It’s the calm in the eye of the storm. For those brief moments, I am outside my problems, looking in. Looking at it from a different angle and catching glimpses of how it all fits into the big picture. How it’s all connected to others and that I am not alone. Then I sink back into my situation with a new resolve and knowing I just need to commit to pushing forward and somehow things will be provided.
When you watch the ocean, think about how old it is. For all that is done to it, it has never lost power and sometimes it reminds us of that. For all this time, the ocean has never been still. Whether I’m standing in it on the beach or looking out over a cliff, the ocean always reminds me there is more beyond and my time is small and precious. It feels like being a child in the presence of the ultimate grandparent.
Spent time in Lincoln City, then drove north to Astoria and went across the bridge (my most favorite bridge, followed by the St. John’s bridge). Stopped by Cannon Beach and Sunset Beach (very quiet, absolutely peaceful even though there were several families there) along the way and collected broken sand dollars and some small bits of driftwood. Hardly anything on the beach compared to the wintertime, but it was wonderful and much needed. My anxiety levels had been slowly building again and the ocean scrubbed my soul clean, reminding me to rely on my faith and not my worries.
Then I went back the next day. Decided one day was not enough and went to Newport and explored the area south of it. The weather was the opposite of the previous day of soft breezes and sunny skies, but I loved it. The overcast day was quieter and the mist rolling across the sand made me feel like I went back in time. Maybe to the beginning when everything was being born. Found some small agates and 2 clam fossils- the first fossils I’ve ever found! Fascinating how the earth can hold on to the past and then one day, have it roll up on the beach.
I returned home renewed and motivated to tend to the things I’ve allowed to pile up again. Took the poor tomato plants, straining in their now too small pots and planted them in the ground. Planted the tomatillos and ground cherries, too. Installed a trellis and gently guided the gourd vines up. Made a PVC niddy noddy and began to skein up the yarn from an unraveled sweater (note to self: do this asap the next time I unravel a sweater- the skein takes up MUCH less space and is much neater than a big floppy plastic bag of yarn balls! duh!). Completed a sewing project that had been waiting patiently since (not an exaggeration) summer of 2008. More was done, but I can’t remember it right now.
Hm. Looking at the list, it appears I’ve tended to things that had reached a dead end when it still had more to go. I’ve felt so much better since doing them, as if I knocked down a dam and now things are beginning to flow where it should again. Instead of looking at it all and feeling overwhelmed, I’m trying out the clean a little-craft a little method and this is much more feasible. I hate cleaning, but I like things to be clean.
Hey- if you’re a crafter and your home looks like mine and a small part of you secretly wishes you could push everything into a hole in the floor, but you know you’d never do that because you might need something in that pile BUT you know you need to do something because it’s impeding your creativity – well – try the clean a little- craft a little method. When I get home from work, I allow 1 hour of cleaning. Even if I feel like I could do more, I stop. Then I can do something else. Knowing I only have that hour actually makes me focus on cleaning efficiently and I suspect I get more done. I also relax in knowing there’s one less thing to tend to on the weekend and I still get my creativity fix.
Do you ever wonder about those houses that look like a showroom? No glitter or seed beads randomly popping out of the carpet, never keeping an empty jelly jar to store buttons in, not a single smudge of paint on the dining room table. What do these people do for entertainment? Do they just sit there and not touch anything? Then again, they probably wonder how we live the way we do- and shudder.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
I Wonder How Much Sawdust I Ate?
This week’s blog is brought to you by the letter D: the makers of Dreaming and Discovery- the pilot lights for your inspiration!
And now, on with the show!
Ugh.
UGH, I say! UGH!
I have sawdust in my pores.
Wait. Hold on. I gotta go jump in the shower. I can’t take this.
Ah…nice and clean. No grittiness anywhere!
Spent the weekend taking a class on how to make a flatbow. This was my first experience doing this type of thing and it was a lot of fun! I am, however, completely sore. I still have triceps, apparently. I had thought they jumped ship and left me, but no. They’re there and I know this because they hurt like crazy.
Using the planer was harder than it looks. Our instructor made it look so easy, gliding over the wood as if it were made of cheese…but you know, that doesn’t even matter since my arms get tired grating a block of cheese, too. Unskilled + sad upper body strength = working on something for a very long time.
The hours went by quickly, though. The pain didn’t even kick in until about an hour after I stopped and then I could barely keep my eyes open for dinner. Then I fell asleep, woke up, and went back to work on it some more.
My favorite part of it is what I’m working on now- shaping and sanding. With each hard edge gently smoothed into a soft curve, it’s looking less and less like the stick it started as and more like an object with an intention. REALLY REALLY want to put the stain on right now, but there’s still more sanding to do. Even though this is the first one I’ve ever made and far from being perfect, I need to do my best so I can be proud of my first effort.
I also need to do something about these weak arms of mine. Ohhhh-whoa-whoa, weak arms of mah-ee-yahh-ahhh-ayne!
So, this was a fun weekend and I finally got to do something I didn’t think I’d have a chance of doing anytime soon. Huzzah! I’m already thinking about trying to make another one with the tools I have: knife, sandpaper, files. Who knows?
When opportunities pop up to learn something new, take it. It’s a good feeling to feel like a kid in the classroom, eyes and ears wide open, hungry for more information. it’s good to be shown there are still more stones left to be unturned.
And now, on with the show!
Ugh.
UGH, I say! UGH!
I have sawdust in my pores.
Wait. Hold on. I gotta go jump in the shower. I can’t take this.
Ah…nice and clean. No grittiness anywhere!
Spent the weekend taking a class on how to make a flatbow. This was my first experience doing this type of thing and it was a lot of fun! I am, however, completely sore. I still have triceps, apparently. I had thought they jumped ship and left me, but no. They’re there and I know this because they hurt like crazy.
Using the planer was harder than it looks. Our instructor made it look so easy, gliding over the wood as if it were made of cheese…but you know, that doesn’t even matter since my arms get tired grating a block of cheese, too. Unskilled + sad upper body strength = working on something for a very long time.
The hours went by quickly, though. The pain didn’t even kick in until about an hour after I stopped and then I could barely keep my eyes open for dinner. Then I fell asleep, woke up, and went back to work on it some more.
My favorite part of it is what I’m working on now- shaping and sanding. With each hard edge gently smoothed into a soft curve, it’s looking less and less like the stick it started as and more like an object with an intention. REALLY REALLY want to put the stain on right now, but there’s still more sanding to do. Even though this is the first one I’ve ever made and far from being perfect, I need to do my best so I can be proud of my first effort.
I also need to do something about these weak arms of mine. Ohhhh-whoa-whoa, weak arms of mah-ee-yahh-ahhh-ayne!
So, this was a fun weekend and I finally got to do something I didn’t think I’d have a chance of doing anytime soon. Huzzah! I’m already thinking about trying to make another one with the tools I have: knife, sandpaper, files. Who knows?
When opportunities pop up to learn something new, take it. It’s a good feeling to feel like a kid in the classroom, eyes and ears wide open, hungry for more information. it’s good to be shown there are still more stones left to be unturned.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
What's Up Doc? What's Cookin'?
Wooo…I have been absent. I have a good reason, though- been busy making stuff!
Guess what I discovered? When the computer is not on, I have more time to create. Really! I know, I know- crazy talk, but really- when I am not distracted, I can get down to the making and the creating! Who knew?
Obviously, not me. ho ho.
Before I go on, let’s give a nod to our sponsor for this week’s postings: the letter C, the makers of Creativity and Curiosity - just what you need when life gives you a flat tire!
So what have you been doing? Any new projects started? Old ones completed? Untangle that wad of embroidery thread?
The last post was me in tender mode. It has, fortunately, passed. The time spent working on the 3 art journals I have for a round-robin helped me work through the funk a bit, although there’s still a small nagging voice questioning where all this will take me.
It’s the Looney Toons angel/devil on the shoulder thing. The devil tells me all this crafting is frivolous and I should be ashamed I’m not spending more time worrying about my mistakes and flaws. The angel whispers calmly, that this is my ticket out of this self-imposed prison; that I need to allow, listen, and trust. Old habits die hard and you know, that voice that tells me to be fearful and full of regret isn’t going to go down without a fight. I’ll fight dirty if I have to, though. I’ll bite and kick it in the balls. I don’t care, I want to win.
Made a pleasant discovery this past weekend- I think I like embroidery. Freeform embroidery, anyway. Mom taught me how to embroider when I was around 6. Dishcloths with Vogart designs ironed on them. Pansies, kittens doing household chores, and I think there were fruits with faces. I liked it for the Little House on the Prairie feeling it gave me, but hated the constriction of having to follow the design. It would become very obvious when I grew bored when the tiny stitches suddenly turned into 1-inch leaps across the tea towel. Never pursued it after that.
But now…
now, I see it differently. Saw blogs where people refer to embroidery as painting with threads and it didn’t really sink in until this weekend. For one of the art journals, the journal’s owner has a Dia de los Muertos/Halloween theme. Decided to embroider a calavera that I could glue to one of the pages. So far, I’ve embroidered flowers in the eye sockets and outlined the calavera in a dark fuschia. I’m going to decorate the inside to look like vines and flowers, probably, and finish it off by stitching seed beads here and there. Each stitch is so much like the stroke of a brush, I was surprised by how relaxing it was. Very different from my previous experience of feeling resentful that I was stuck having to create a stupid smiling bunch of grapes.
In addition to having fun watching the colors appear across the fabric, it was fun to be able to take apart the thread and blend colors. Like mixing paint. This will be a good fiber-based craft to work on in the summertime. There will still probably be knitting since I have projects I want to have completed before winter comes, but if it’s really warm, I’ll probably take the embroidery to craft night.
I’ll take a picture when I’m done- probably this weekend. Sorry for the no-picture blog tonight. I need to go to sleep now, though. Got up crazy early this morning and I’m so tired, I have the queasy shakes.
Oh, and another thing I’ve been doing when I start to have anxious thoughts about the what ifs when I’m trying to go to sleep: I plot and plan a current or upcoming craft project. The embroidered calavera was born from one of these nights and I fell asleep pretty quickly as soon as I began to imagine what I would stitch.
It really is so much healthier to drift into dreaming, thinking about what I can create instead of worrying about what may destroy. Let the inspiration flood in and flush out the debris that has been blocking your path. Let it saturate the ground and see what starts to grow.
Guess what I discovered? When the computer is not on, I have more time to create. Really! I know, I know- crazy talk, but really- when I am not distracted, I can get down to the making and the creating! Who knew?
Obviously, not me. ho ho.
Before I go on, let’s give a nod to our sponsor for this week’s postings: the letter C, the makers of Creativity and Curiosity - just what you need when life gives you a flat tire!
So what have you been doing? Any new projects started? Old ones completed? Untangle that wad of embroidery thread?
The last post was me in tender mode. It has, fortunately, passed. The time spent working on the 3 art journals I have for a round-robin helped me work through the funk a bit, although there’s still a small nagging voice questioning where all this will take me.
It’s the Looney Toons angel/devil on the shoulder thing. The devil tells me all this crafting is frivolous and I should be ashamed I’m not spending more time worrying about my mistakes and flaws. The angel whispers calmly, that this is my ticket out of this self-imposed prison; that I need to allow, listen, and trust. Old habits die hard and you know, that voice that tells me to be fearful and full of regret isn’t going to go down without a fight. I’ll fight dirty if I have to, though. I’ll bite and kick it in the balls. I don’t care, I want to win.
Made a pleasant discovery this past weekend- I think I like embroidery. Freeform embroidery, anyway. Mom taught me how to embroider when I was around 6. Dishcloths with Vogart designs ironed on them. Pansies, kittens doing household chores, and I think there were fruits with faces. I liked it for the Little House on the Prairie feeling it gave me, but hated the constriction of having to follow the design. It would become very obvious when I grew bored when the tiny stitches suddenly turned into 1-inch leaps across the tea towel. Never pursued it after that.
But now…
now, I see it differently. Saw blogs where people refer to embroidery as painting with threads and it didn’t really sink in until this weekend. For one of the art journals, the journal’s owner has a Dia de los Muertos/Halloween theme. Decided to embroider a calavera that I could glue to one of the pages. So far, I’ve embroidered flowers in the eye sockets and outlined the calavera in a dark fuschia. I’m going to decorate the inside to look like vines and flowers, probably, and finish it off by stitching seed beads here and there. Each stitch is so much like the stroke of a brush, I was surprised by how relaxing it was. Very different from my previous experience of feeling resentful that I was stuck having to create a stupid smiling bunch of grapes.
In addition to having fun watching the colors appear across the fabric, it was fun to be able to take apart the thread and blend colors. Like mixing paint. This will be a good fiber-based craft to work on in the summertime. There will still probably be knitting since I have projects I want to have completed before winter comes, but if it’s really warm, I’ll probably take the embroidery to craft night.
I’ll take a picture when I’m done- probably this weekend. Sorry for the no-picture blog tonight. I need to go to sleep now, though. Got up crazy early this morning and I’m so tired, I have the queasy shakes.
Oh, and another thing I’ve been doing when I start to have anxious thoughts about the what ifs when I’m trying to go to sleep: I plot and plan a current or upcoming craft project. The embroidered calavera was born from one of these nights and I fell asleep pretty quickly as soon as I began to imagine what I would stitch.
It really is so much healthier to drift into dreaming, thinking about what I can create instead of worrying about what may destroy. Let the inspiration flood in and flush out the debris that has been blocking your path. Let it saturate the ground and see what starts to grow.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
hmmmm… I am feeling, what Kelly Rae Roberts refers to as “tender.”
I like that term. For me, it’s feeling a little blue and a lot vulnerable. Started on Monday, after I had a bad dream of having my heart broken. Felt so real, just like the first time it happened in real life. When I woke up, it took me a moment to realize it was only a dream and I nearly cried with relief. Since then, the feeling has lingered off and on and has invited unwelcome feelings of doubt. It’s as if the dream was a nasty scrape that took off all the skin, leaving me…well, tender.
Times like this make me seek out the positive. Cannot stand to be like this, fussing over the things that worry me even though the worrying does nothing but steal sleep. There was a time, years ago, when this kind of existing consumed my life. Painfully homesick and overwhelmed by the future, all creativity stopped and it felt as though someone had placed a heavy, cold stone inside me. A lot of crying, a lot of sleeping. Interestingly, what got me to not just hole up and give up was the knowledge of how sadly disappointed my parents would be if they saw the state I was in. For all they have done for me, I just had to push forward and not cause them any worry. It was just so hard. Sometimes, physically painful.
When I started this blog, it was partly a commitment to myself to finally start something I had been thinking about for a few years. Then I figured at some point, someone would probably stumble across it and perhaps that person was in a bad way. They may be at a time of their life when things look bleak and the future just seems like another possibility for something else to go wrong instead of something else to go right
If right now, you feel empty and find no joy or inspiration in creating, don’t be hard on yourself. You aren’t alone in this. Just take it one step at a time, always facing forward. Keep in your heart, the certainty that somewhere on this planet, there are others walking that slow, difficult journey. Treat yourself to a small project. I’ve found that one benefiting others to be especially helpful. If even that is too much right now, then keep searching for the light. You owe it to yourself to be relentless in this.
So with this in mind, how about a short practice in gratitude? What 3 things are you grateful for right now? Nothing is too small or insignificant in this practice. It all adds up.
Here’s mine:
1. I just saw a funny commercial that made me laugh out loud
2. It’s bedtime and I look forward to have an inspirational dream
3. I get to go to work tomorrow and be with co-workers I adore
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